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Saturday, April 30, 2016

5 tips to help you Stop being the ALPHA parent



It is Monday morning and the weeks craziness begins. You wake up and put your hair in a pony tail grab a quick coffee and start to make breakfast and school lunches. You want to workout but know that the house is just about to wake up and you relish in the last few minutes of silence you have until chaos ensues.

Then it starts, your week of self inflicted insanity. Lunches are made breakfast is done - no time to get the dishes done and you know you'll regret leaving them until later but there is nothing you can do about it as you are OUT of time. You didn't get to wash your hair but your kids are all spick 'n' span ready to go out the door to meet the bus. They have the "right" clothing choices for the days weather as you checked while folding the laundry and signing the kids homework sheets and writing the school a note cause you have to pick up one of your kids or a doctors appointment later in the day. Kids are now on the bus and you start to drive out of the driveway when you realize that you forgot to let the dog out and top up its water and food for the day. You hop out of the car, run back inside let the dog out and feed him then you remember you forgot to eat - so you grab a muffin to go. Meanwhile, your spouse is casually getting up and enjoying a quiet cup of coffee; Seemingly oblivious to everything that you just did and went through.

STOP IT!!!

You need to start to do the following ASAP!!!  You will be no good to anyone if you burn yourself out. Letting go of the reigns will be hard on you AS WELL as your partner who has become accustomed to you doing it all.....


  1. Even thought you know you can handle everything, sit down with you partner and talk about dividing things up such as chores, cooking and shopping etc. Make a list, you are good at that (which you can rotate though so not one person is doing the same thing each and every week)
  2. Make lunch prep a FAMILY event the NIGHT BEFORE - get everyone involved in making their own lunches. While you are at it - allow everyone to sort and fold and put away their clean laundry. Kids can do a lot more than you give them credit for. FYI folding doesn't have to be perfect, let it go.
  3. Don't be so high strung on being the one to do all the Doctors/Dentist/Hair appointments - divvy them up. I know you are worried you wont get proper feedback on what the doctor actually said - don't worry you'll all live. (if super worried ask your partner to take notes, I know you are saying "Ya Right!" - again LET IT GO)
  4. Rotate daycare/school drops offs, you deserve a quiet coffee in the morning too!!!
  5. Treat yourself to the following recharging things at least a few times a week; Coffee with a friend, Gym time, Spa time, or if the budget just doesn't allow for those things then a nice long QUIET walk a few nights a week. Maybe around homework time (wink wink)
Remember that leaving the kids with your partner is NOT consider babysitting!! You need to take care of yourself first, then everyone else.

Relax and enjoy life as it is not a dress rehearsal, stop putting all this unnecessary pressure on yourself, it is after all self inflicted and wont get corrected unless you decide to correct it.

Believe me, BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!! Learn from my mistakes.... 

Signed, a previously burnt out Mom









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